In a new Capital One commercial, comedian Jimmy Fallon says, “According to research, everybody likes more cash…well, almost everybody.” Fallon turns to a toddler and asks if he would like more cash, to which the little boy responds “no.” Fallon then says, “But, it’s more money” and gets Cherrios thrown in his face in response. During this holiday season, employers often try to show their appreciation to their employees by giving them a cash bonus, which you would think everyone would value. However, does the cash do the job of making employees feel appreciated?

In his book “The Five Love Languages,” Gary Chapman identifies five ways that people generally communicate their love and appreciation for their significant others. While Chapman’s focus is on how spouses communicate, the premise that people show their appreciation for others in different ways has a business application as well. 

The five love languages include:

• Words of affirmation. People who speak this love language often show their love and appreciation for others by telling them. According to Chapman, “Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation, are powerful communicators of love” for these folks. In addition to showing their love through words, they tend to hear whether they are loved by others through words as well. Do people who thrive on words of affirmation appreciate a cash bonus? Probably. However, receiving cash once a year doesn’t make up for a year without verbal affirmation.

• Quality time. Those who speak this love language show their love and appreciation for others by spending quality time with them, and they tend to determine how others feel about them by the quality time that is reciprocated. Chapman says that quality time “means that we are doing something together and that we are giving our full attention to the other person.” At work, this would translate into keeping appointments and giving others your undivided attention when meeting with them. People who thrive on quality time with those who are important to them undoubtedly enjoy receiving a cash bonus. However, receiving cash once a year doesn’t make up for a year of missed meetings and interrupted conversations.

• Receiving gifts. Finally, a person who will feel appreciated by receiving cash! Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. People who speak this love language feel loved only if a gift is carefully chosen just for them. Says Chapman, “You must be thinking of someone to give him a gift. The gift itself is a symbol of that thought. It doesn’t matter whether it costs money. What is important is that you thought of him.” People who speak this love language probably enjoy cash; however, a carefully selected gift or card goes a lot further with them. By the way, people who speak this love language usually show their appreciation for others by giving them gifts, carefully selected ones of course.

• Acts of service. People who speak this love language demonstrate their love and appreciation for others by doing things for them. At home, it could be all the household chores that need to be done; however, according to Chapman, they are expressions of love when “they require thought, planning, time, effort, and energy (and are) done with a positive spirit.” At work, acts of service could include covering for an employee while she attends her child’s school play or pitching in to help an employee meet an important deadline. Those who determine whether others care for them through their acts of service undoubtedly enjoy receiving cash; however, receiving cash once a year doesn’t make up for a lack of helping out throughout the year.

• Physical touch. Those who speak this love language show their love and appreciation for others through physical touch, which HR professionals frown upon at work. However, a handshake, fist bump, or high five can still be used to show appreciation without threat of a sexual harassment lawsuit. Do those who determine how others feel about them by their physical contact with them like cash bonuses? I’d say they do, along with a handshake, fist bump, or high five.  

People speaking different love languages is similar to someone who speaks English trying to communicate with someone who speaks Spanish – you can speak loudly and enunciate your words, but you still can’t communicate. You need to learn the other person’s language in order to get the message across.

Probably plenty of employers are now thinking, “I don’t have the time or the inclination to determine the love languages of my employees – if they don’t want the cash, then I’ll keep it.” Please don’t refrain from giving cash to your employees to show your appreciation for them! But, consider putting the cash in a carefully selected card (receiving gifts) with a few words of affirmation written especially for that employee inside (words of affirmation) and giving the card during a private moment alone (quality time) or during the company party that you have provided (acts of service) with a hearty handshake (physical touch). You’ll communicate your appreciation in every love language and all of your employees will feel it. And, remember the love languages throughout the entire year. Demonstrating appreciation for employees just once a year has the same effect of doing so for your significant other – not enough love and they’re gone.